i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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