literally had 100 drinks last night.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
