Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
