'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
