And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
pray to the hookup gods
Randomize
