Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
