can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
