Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Randomize
