69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
A bitchslap is in order.
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