I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
