See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
