Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Can you bring me the toilet please
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
