I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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