i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
