I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
