It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
