I'm really into asian looking animals
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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