white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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