it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
