At least make sure they are 18
Why
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
