I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
