its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Quick, to the slutcave!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
