We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
