Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
