Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Pappa wants mamma naked
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
