I bet he comes in French.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Randomize