We're like a lot better than the average bears
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
