This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You made out with two different species that night
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
