I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize