i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
