I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize