Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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