...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
did you just send me my own nude
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
