I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
