I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My nipple is on Facebook.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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