I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
