no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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