Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize