You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
