Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
