when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
