Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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