He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
