I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
