Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
