I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Your mouth is God's brothel.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
