Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
