she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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