Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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