nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
