I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
