just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
