i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You are the jesus of drinking
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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