WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize