That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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