my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
