They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
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