I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
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