she woke up with a sticky ear
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
