i used baking grease as lip gloss
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
