"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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