i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I think people are normalizing furries
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
