So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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