It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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