My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Randomize
