I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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